Tears rolled down my face as I sat in the parking lot of a Target in the southwest of Tennessee.

How did I get here? And why was I bawling like a baby?

My long road of working for the Memphis Grizzlies was finally becoming a reality. But I was now alone in a city I didn’t know, had just dropped my mom off at the airport and knew nothing. Was I making the right decision?

And then I realized sometimes you have to take the risk and put faith in yourself.

I can remember the exact moment I knew I wanted to be a sports broadcaster. I also remember the exact moment I realized it was going to be really, really hard. And honestly, I can’t remember how many times I got the urge to quit. 

As I look at my career now — one of the first Canadians to work as an NBA host — I am so thankful I never gave into any of those urges.

The falling in love part came easy: I had just graduated with a Bachelor of Journalism from Ryerson University in April 2013, where I was also a four-year captain of the varsity basketball team. That was when I applied to an internship that I thought I’d never get selected for; an opportunity to cover the World University Games in Russia in June. Just two students from each continent were chosen.

The catch was I had started my Master of Journalism at Western University in May 2013. My professors were resistant to the amount of work I would miss and said I couldn’t continue in the program if I left. But if anybody knows me, they know how stubborn I am. 

I grew up in a sports family that continuously worked hard to break barriers. My mom, the first female referee to officiate a men’s university basketball game; and my dad, the longest standing board member on Ontario and Canada Basketball. I fought my professors’ decision and they finally conceded but weren’t happy. In fact, on one of my assignments my professor literally wrote “sports journalism as a whole is mediocre at best.” 

Covering the University Games lit a fire inside me, and I fell in love with the idea of covering sports as a journalist. My first interview was a media scrum after the Canada vs. Brazil men’s basketball game with Canadian Brady Heslip. I remember it even seven years later and the rush I felt afterwards. I had just fallen in love with my future career.

I started applying to every job imaginable after graduating from Western and got meetings with top executives at TSN and Sportsnet along with phone calls with ESPN and Fox. But the advice was all the same: “Keep working. Never say no to an opportunity. Find your niche. And again… keep working.” 

The hardest realization was setting in: it wasn’t going to be easy to break into this industry. Not only are there few jobs in sports journalism, it seemed there were even fewer for women. 

I kept pushing, trying to get creative and think outside of the box. I pitched a digital series to the World University Games and they invited me back to cover the 2015 event in Spain It was one of the biggest breaks of my career. I was travelling the world every other year and interviewing the top young athletes on the planet. And it was all my idea — a framework for a digital series that I created from scratch. 

But again, that was only two weeks. When I got home, I needed a job again. 

I landed my first sports job in 2015 as an editor and reporter with the 2015 Pan Am Games in Toronto. It was so fun. 

After that, one of my Ryerson professors helped me get a job with the Toronto Star as a content editor. It wasn’t at all what I wanted to do, but it was in journalism (sort of) and good experience at a good company. I was one of four editors in the digital lifestyle section. 

I was laid off three months later. 

I started to volunteer with my local Rogers TV station, filling in for a host that had broken her foot on a kid’s sports show. Again - it wasn’t what I wanted, but it was experience. And remember, everyone kept telling me “don’t turn down any opportunities.”

The Toronto Star invited me back in August and I went back to work, while still volunteering with Rogers on the weekends. 

I got laid off again in October. 

At this point, I was frustrated, embarrassed and needing money. I wanted to try and create a freelancing career where I could make my own schedule, pitch ideas, write, volunteer and, most importantly, not get laid off again. Freelancing was fun, but hard. I worked plenty of different events like the Pro Football Hall of Fame inductions, ESPYs, the BioSteel All-Canadian Game and lots more. But it was also difficult because you’re constantly pitching ideas to different companies and getting rejected. 

I freelanced writing articles for different magazines and newspapers for four years. Hosting different live events for various TV channels, working as a play-by-play announcer and sideline reporter for two basketball teams, taking small contracts with different companies like Yahoo Sports and NBA TV Canada. 

Eventually, I hired an agent based in New York and made the decision that I was finally ready --my demo reel was actually good now -- to make the move to full-time work. Despite working in many different sports for years, basketball was my passion so there was no question that I wanted to work in in the NBA.

I was a finalist last year for a sideline reporting job for a team in the NBA. I had put all my eggs into that basket and when I didn’t get it, I was devastated and had no back-up plan. 

I went back to freelancing and got a few jobs working as a rink-side reporter for the Toronto Marlies and the host of the Toronto Argos. I also attended my sixth World University Games as their digital host (that was in Siberia, which was pretty cool). But ultimately, I waited a whole year to look for full-time work again because I knew I wanted to be in the NBA. This time, I got it. I was hired by the Grizzlies.

I was on top of the world. I had never been happier. I had just taken the biggest step in my career. I was looking up apartments in Memphis, starting to buy clothes I could wear on-air; I literally started packing-up my Toronto apartment.

But then, another bombshell: my work visa.

I had never been more stressed in my life. I had already quit my job working with the Argos and Marlies. I had told my landlord that I was out. And now the visa process was delayed. It took around six months to resolve and the NBA season had already begun. I watched Memphis’s season opener in my mom’s basement. I was really down. 

But six months later and my life was packed into a U-Haul, ready for a 20-hour drive from Toronto with my mom to a city I had only been to once for 24-hours for an interview.

This had been my dream for a long time, and it was finally coming true. I am the first Canadian woman to work as a host for an NBA team. I am so incredibly proud and so incredibly happy. 

Those insecurities I felt in the parking lot at Target were only amplified shortly after my arrival following the release of the first episode of the Grizzlies’ official podcast.

My guests were Ja Morant and Jaren Jackson Jr. — two of the biggest young names in the league. I was so proud and excited to share my work. But when I published it, it took four minutes for comments to roll in about my appearance, people questioning my basketball knowledge, comments about how I got the job. Nasty, vicious comments that are there for the public to see, for my bosses to see, for my parents to see. 

That was the next obstacle to overcome because it didn't just happen once. With my growing platform online, now came a growing number of internet presence which also means a growing number of internet trolls. It happens now on almost every single picture or video that I post with the Grizzlies or even on my personal social media. 

Being alone in a city and learning to deal with intense scrutiny from strangers online has been difficult. But it’s also helped me grow professionally and personally. Although it sounds cheesy, it has made me a lot stronger and more confident in myself and my work. You either get confident enough to back yourself, or you fold - and I wasn’t going to fold. 

It’s been life-changing ever since I got to Memphis. I love going into work every day and wake up every morning so thankful that this is my job and I get to watch and talk about basketball for a living. I know I am so lucky. The city has embraced me as one of their own. And now for every mean comment, I receive four kind ones. 

The Grizzlies also found early success which is always fun to cover. And my love for basketball, a sport that has been in my life since I could walk, has grown even stronger — strong enough that no comment or post could ever rupture it.

I can’t wait for the NBA to come back.