Step Up, Now.

Aug 11

Samwell’s death hit home for me.

I remember coming home to Regina to see my mom packing for the night to join the gathering we as South Sudanese people do when there is a passing in our community.

After speaking to my mother about the events leading up to his suicide, she expressed a situation of a young man who was dealing with depression, dealing with anxiety, dealing with a number of stresses and held it together for as long as he could, and got to a point. A point in which he needed help, he begged for it in a Snapchat video. And had the door slammed on his damn face, and this is where I get lost.

I can not fathom what is so confusing in this situation when someone tells you they’re not well stating, “I need help, I need help, I need help.”

I never knew this young man, but his frantic cries for help, his frantic pursuit for help in his dying hours. This puts an empty pit in your stomach.

To watch 4-6 security guards toss a young Sudanese boy from a place that should be viewed as a sanctuary, a place for healing, a bridge to help. I want an explanation from the Regina General Hospital that I was born in. I want to know how procedurally, they could miss that. I am sick. I’m sick for anyone who knew Samwell, his friends and admirers. And most importantly, his sweet and loving parents who may have struggled to get this young man help. How could this happen?

We as a society often disregard the struggles our peers go through. We need to do better.

When someone tells you they’re not well stating, “I need help, I need help, I need help”… will you step up?

If you feel you have it in you, observe the field before you step on it.

If you don’t know, ask.

This is a concept we are all constantly trying to learn as we escape one of the most destructive mechanisms of human nature; assumptions.

Sometimes, on the surface, our assumptions can prove correct. We know that if someone is crying, it is safe to assume that they are sad. Likewise if someone is laughing/smiling emphatically I can make the assumption that they're likely cheerful and happy in that moment.

However, it’s imperative that you and I recognize that these are surface level assumptions, and we often do not know the full story of who a person is, or what they may be going through. Because when we turn away and live the life we got, that same person we made assumptions about is fighting demons. I challenge you to be mindful that people around you are facing things and may need just a bit of your help in stepping up and being there for them.

See if the people closest to you are well in times you can recognize it. Allow people to become vulnerable to you when you’ve observed that they may need your help, and you can afford to take that step to help them. I bet Samwells corner wish they knew, I bet some did as much as they can and that's to be acknowledged.

Speaking to athletes specifically, I encourage you to not make careless assumptions on your mental health. If you have questions you can’t answer, GO see what’s up with professionals. There is no shame in making a decision to better yourself mentally just as you do physically. You owe it to yourself because you do so much in your field and might forget that your mind may not keep up. Make sure the ones around you are people that would accept you for whatever stage you’re at. And lastly, to my Sudanese family and community. Mental health is the bridge to clarity, we cannot simply ‘truck’ through things. We must gain dignity and humility and understand that getting help is not a weakness and more a strength. Even if back home is where we learn these values. We must recognize that it is dangerous to not unify and make room for open discussions with professionals.

Samwell, I never knew you. But from my heart. Rest easy, we love you and will think about you daily my younger brother.

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